This is the blog entry of a lot of pictures.
I have a new haircut.
Squeak has a new home.
I've been thinking about how to put how I'm dealing with everything into words. I experience my pain like standing on a beach in the storm. I love being on the beach and experiencing the sand, the water, the smells, the discovery of little shells stretched out waiting to be found. There are bright, sunny days that make everything about the beach come alive and make you never want to forget that moment. There are also storms that blow through and leave varying degrees of destruction in their path. Both are necessary to fully appreciate the other and value life.
Right now, I am in the middle of a monsoon. School and internship are like the constant rain that causes stress on my body, but I have adjusted to them. Work is like a wind that gusts on occasion but can be enjoyable to feel push against my body. The divorce? That is like strong, heavy waves that pound against me in a completely unpredictable fashion. I'll get struck by something that causes an initial, stinging reaction that completely knocks me over. I quickly become saturated by the freezing wetness of this wave and it consumes every part of my body and mind. The only thing I can focus on is how utterly cold and wet I am. Eventually I am able to adjust to the condition and make my way further along the beach but then, once I forget a little what that experience felt like, I get smacked again by another wave. It feels slightly different, I'm further down the beach and the water does not feel or taste the same, but the pain is so similar I don't care. Sometimes the monsoon lets up, sometimes the winds die down, sometimes there's even a sun break, but it's still a monsoon. They don't let up after a few days, monsoons take a long time to run their course before the weather starts to make a more permanent turn.
Woah, that was heavy. I feel like I should lighten the mood a little...
OH Squeak and I spend a solid three hours in bed yesterday watching Grey's Anatomy, he loves the crazy antics of those Seattle Grace interns. He even licked my hand.
Baby steps
This is what bonding looks like...
Beautifully put, Steph! You brought tears to my eyes. Know that you are loved and that even monsoons have to be isolated to their own seasons. The sun eventually comes out to burn off ALL of those clouds.
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