Second Try...Now I'm just Cranky

This was the beginning of "Revenge of the DuCette" night

I don't remember too much beyond this.

Soo...I wrote this awesome post about labels, how I feel about them and how fluid they are in my life right now.

And it deleted. 

I don't have the energy to rewrite it, so I'll take it as a sign that it was a subpar post and move onward! I think today is a list day.

Things about this weekend:

     I signed the divorce papers. I will be Miss Stephanie DuCette in three months

     I'm surprisingly ok with this fact

     I am surprisingly not ok with how upset I am at the loss of the future I was planning. I'm not even joking guys, I want kids, like, three weeks ago.

seriously, I almost put this baby in my purse and ran off with him

Now before you get your panties or boxers all in a twist or whatever, I'm not actively trying to have a baby. I more or less want the situation to provide giving that baby the most kick-ass life possible. I know that wasn't going to happen for awhile, but "awhile" has been pushed back substantially.

As per signing the papers, I was taken out by my friends for "Revenge of the DuCette" night. 

Apparently I had a great time, I don't remember a whole lot of it

Poor adult choices in life include not getting enough sleep/sobriety before having to work after "Revenge of the DuCette" night at 5AM

That really, really, really sucked.

One should not watch Paranormal Activity when one lives next to train tracks

A happenstance jaunt to Scarecrow video provided me the opportunity to become the proud owner of seasons one and two of The Adventures of Pete and Pete.

I'm already planning a marathon once classes are over

HARRY POTTER IS IN 2 DAYS

OH MY GOD HARRY POTTER IS IN 2 DAYS!!!!!

Oh, and I want these in my life:

So...cute...and tasty!

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!

This is the blog entry of a lot of pictures.

I have a new haircut.

Squeak has a new home.

I've been thinking about how to put how I'm dealing with everything into words. I experience my pain like standing on a beach in the storm. I love being on the beach and experiencing the sand, the water, the smells, the discovery of little shells stretched out waiting to be found. There are bright, sunny days that make everything about the beach come alive and make you never want to forget that moment. There are also storms that blow through and leave varying degrees of destruction in their path. Both are necessary to fully appreciate the other and value life. 

Right now, I am in the middle of a monsoon. School and internship are like the constant rain that causes stress on my body, but I have adjusted to them. Work is like a wind that gusts on occasion but can be enjoyable to feel push against my body. The divorce? That is like strong, heavy waves that pound against me in a completely unpredictable fashion. I'll get struck by something that causes an initial, stinging reaction that completely knocks me over. I quickly become saturated by the freezing wetness of this wave and it consumes every part of my body and mind. The only thing I can focus on is how utterly cold and wet I am. Eventually I am able to adjust to the condition and make my way further along the beach but then, once I forget a little what that experience felt like, I get smacked again by another wave. It feels slightly different, I'm further down the beach and the water does not feel or taste the same, but the pain is so similar I don't care. Sometimes the monsoon lets up, sometimes the winds die down, sometimes there's even a sun break, but it's still a monsoon. They don't let up after a few days, monsoons take a long time to run their course before the weather starts to make a more permanent turn.

Woah, that was heavy. I feel like I should lighten the mood a little...

OH Squeak and I spend a solid three hours in bed yesterday watching Grey's Anatomy, he loves the crazy antics of those Seattle Grace interns. He even licked my hand.

Baby steps

This is what bonding looks like...

Don't KISS the Hedgehog!

Hello blog, it's been too long.

I'm coming out the other side. While Squeak is in a bit of arrested development, I am "processing" and "feeling" and "dealing with the situation" and whatever people say about figuring out your life after a divorce. It has happened quickly, but I feel like I'm in a good place. I'm finding a lot of fun things about being a single lady...

like having a huge bed

and closet space

and cheaper food bills

and complete choice in movies

and free drinks :)

and relating to Beyonce on a completely deeper level (I WILL put my hands up!)

It's not all sunshine and rainbows, but then again neither am I (despite popular belief). I like my life right now. There are things that I miss and relationships that aren't the same, but I like things the way they are. 

I bought Squeak a new hedgehome. I hope he likes it, he's so much bigger than I thought he would be, I want him to be able to run around with some semblance of freedom...

...but not too much or he'll get stuck in a hideyhole that I don't want to have to deal with getting him out of.

I promise he has eyes

More to come, I promise I'll update more, I still have 3 more weeks of class :)